A year ago, my dad entered the hospital and never returned home. He died 11 days later. I had every expectation that he was returning home, so I spent every morning he was there putting in his vegetable garden. I would make the 90-minute drive to be there with him for lunch. I hustled, even in the pouring rain, as I didn't want him to be disappointed when he returned home. He was a master gardener, and getting the vegetables in on time mattered to him. He left me a detailed garden plan that I did my best to follow. He was always thorough in that way.
He never saw the garden that I planted. After he passed, I never walked down to the garden. The vegetables grew, and the deer had a feast. I didn't care. I couldn't look at his garden. I let it get overgrown with weeds just as grief was overgrown in my heart.
This year I had a change of heart. I returned to the garden exactly a year after I brought him to the ER with back pain. Jon had rototilled the garden the previous week, and miraculously, it looked ready and willing for me to proceed with planting. I was amazed that letting it get overgrown didn't leave me with a big mess. I think if it had been, I would have turned around and walked away. Thanks, Dad.
Today, I planted potatoes. I have never grown potatoes, but last year my dad drew me a diagram from his hospital bed about how to do it. So, I had to. While working the soil, I started thinking about where I am in my life and career. When my dad got sick the first time earlier in the year, I left my job. It was a big job, and I loved most of the people I worked with, but change was happening, and I decided to focus on my dad. Because of that decision, I am where I am now. I have my own business and set my own hours. I work with whom I want to work with. I can stay true to my values and purpose. I am truly aligned with all that God wants me to be.
Here is where the lesson was for me today. I would still be in a corporate role if my dad hadn't gotten sick. Maybe not where I was, but somewhere. We often don't move in life unless something forces us to. Life opens doors when it's time to move forward. Instead of walking past it, circumstances pushed me through it. Today, I was reminded to be thankful for that.
This garden? It's back to being mine now. With my previous career, I never would have had the time to tend to it, but now I do. And while I still grieve the tremendous loss of my dear father, I have pulled the weeds and have a sense of renewal with the smell of fresh-turned dirt and my father whispering in my head how to plant the potatoes.
Reach Higher,
LeeAnne
Comments